LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINES!

1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."

2. Woman: Dr. An ant entered my vagina, please take it out.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: What are you doing?
Doctor: This is the only way to drown the bastard!

3. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Ans: YOUR SALARY. It comes once a month last 3–4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!

4. A lady visited her doctor again,
Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then b4. Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought u said 3 MALES a day!!!!

5. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she waz pregnant, she cried n said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore!”

6. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked "Do U have this?"
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"

7. Schoolgirl: I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION.
Class Teacher: Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!

8. Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the ad & is shocked "7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!”

9. What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!
The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!

10. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!

11. Man to wife: Business is bad if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant. Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman.

12. COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party. BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!

13. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face!

14. What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!


(Source: E-mail)